Lost in You
by Guitarchick727
Summary: Sequel to Crash Into Me, Kayleigh's back at home and she has a big secret! What happens when she sees the guys again? Will this be the best thing that has ever happened to her or the worst
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Questions

I spent another restless night in New Jersey as I lay in bed. For the past week or so, I couldn't sleep through the night. I'd wake up with a sinking feeling in my stomach. It could have been several things that had been on my mind lately like college, my period being late or that Harry and Tom were coming to visit for a day or two and then we were heading to England for two months.

Tom called me when he read the letter and apologized again. Not much had been accomplished with it beside the fact that we would talk every other night for a week. Touring got crazy and he met other girls that he didn't want me to know about. We weren't dating and we were barely friends. But that was two months ago. Two months ago it was April, spring break. Now it's June which means summer break. Things with Tom could change. We now had time to get to know each other and in my mind, get back together.

College was driving me insane just as Harry and Tom's homecoming was. I had been accepted to two colleges close by in New Jersey and one in New York City after going to two years of community college. I was leaning towards staying home and commuting to one of the schools close by. Time was running out to register at the schools and I hadn't made up my mind just yet. Something was telling me to wait to make my decision.

I wasn't too worried about my period being late. For me, it was normal because I have an irregular cycle. It usually skips a month or two but if it didn't come within the next week I would start to panic. Maybe I'm just over reacting at the same time. I was very active athletically during the past few months playing soccer. I just needed to wait and see what happens.

But as I lay in bed tonight the sinking feeling got even worse. It wasn't as if I was nervous or anxious about anything, not even the fact the boys were coming to visit. I felt like I was going to be sick. I got enough strength to go to my bathroom. I sat down on the lilac bath mat with my hand on my stomach to soothe myself. I leaned back against the tub. I had no idea why I felt sick. I hadn't eaten anything under cooked that could make me sick. I started to feel worse as I sat there so I opened the toilet and leaned my head over. That's when it came up. Everything I had eaten in the last three hours came up. Why was I throwing up? I hadn't thrown up in two years. I wasn't one to be sick.

I cleaned off my face and flushed the toilet. I looked in the mirror. My face was pale and I hardly recognized myself. Something poked in the back of my mind, something that had the answers to all my questions. I opened up the mirrored cabinet and grabbed the two tiny boxes. I took the contents out and laid them on the counter. I read and followed the directions. I placed the contents back on the counter and waited. Minutes go by fast unless you stare at the clock. The minutes I watched slowly tick by. At the end of the wait, I looked at the answer to the main question: yes.

I crawled back into bed and placed my hand over my stomach. I had to call someone. I leaned over my nightstand. I grabbed my cell phone taking it off the charger. I flipped through my phone book stopping on Harry's number. I pressed call and waited for him to pick up as I listened to the dial tone.

"Hey, angel, what are you doing up so late at night?" Harry's voice sang in my ear. I never realized what time it was. I glanced over at the clock. It was three New York time, which meant it was 12 midnight California time.

I heard Harry's question but didn't respond. "I'm pregnant." I heard myself say the words but didn't want to believe them. I couldn't help it; tears poured out of my eyes.

There was silence on the other end until I heard a click in the background. "What? How? Kayleigh…" he couldn't even finish his sentence.

"You know how, Harry. What am I going to do? What is Tom going to say?"

"Are you sure it's Tom's baby?"

This made me mad. "Of course it's Tom's baby. He's the only one I've been with. What am I going to do?" I asked through angry sobs.

"Kay, relax. Don't worry about it right now. Get some sleep and we'll talk about this tomorrow. Everything's going to be okay. I love you."

I swallowed the rest of my tears so I could talk. "I love you too." I waited until I heard him say good-night to hang up.

Thoughts ran through my mind. How was Tom going to act? What should I do? But none of those questions could be answered. I tossed and turned trying to answer them until I got too tired to think and fell fast asleep.


	2. Matter of the Heart

Chapter 2 – Matter of the Heart

I slept through the rest of the night, thankfully. I only woke up when my alarm sounded. Throughout the morning I thought about the baby. Was it a boy? Was it a girl? Could I take care of a baby? I had to tell Tom before I could answer any of them.

The flight the boys were on was to arrive at 12:16 p.m. I was on time for a change but had to wait for them to get off the plane. Danny was first to come through the gates followed by the rest. The boys greeted me with hugs and kisses. To my surprise, Jody and Claire Liz walked off as well. Claire was jabbering away while Jody looked like she wanted to kill her. My eyes met Harry's after I noticed Claire.

"Danny and she aren't together, but they're friends. He broke up with her the day you left. Because they're _friends_, she weaseled her way into coming with us. She's never been to New York, so she's here. What I don't understand is why Danny would want to be friends with such a scheming bitch in the first place." Harry and I walked side by side to our cabs. Jody and Claire came with me in one cab while the boys took the other.

"Kayleigh, it's so good to see you. It's been too long," Claire said with a kiss on both cheeks like people in France do.

"Good to see you too, Claire Liz. Jody, how's your surfing? How are you and Dougie?"

Jody sat next to me forcing me in-between her and Claire. "I wanted to bring my board but then I realized that we're only going to be here for a day or two and I could always use a new one. I hate being away from Dougie all the time but beggars can't be choosers, right?"

The rest of the way home we talked about random stuff including Claire Liz's break up with Danny. We drove to the hotel the boys were staying. Once inside, I made myself comfortable in the living room area.

"Kayleigh, can I talk to you for a minute? In the bedroom?" Harry called from the kitchen.

I got up and met him in the bedroom. I lay across the bed while Harry sat at my feet. He patted my leg and smiled happily. "What's up?" I asked trying to act if nothing was wrong.

"Kay, have you thought about what you're going to do? Have you told anyone else besides me?"

"No, no one knows except you. I know one thing about what I'm not going to do: an abortion. It's not right. Would you do me favor?" Harry nodded in acknowledgement. "Would you come with me when I tell my mother?"

Harry got up and kissed the top of my head. "Of course, I will angel."

There was a light knock on the door. Tom's face appeared in the cracked doorway. "Can I talk to Kayleigh?"

"Do you want me to stay?" Harry asked quietly. I shook him off. He kissed my head again before leaving. Harry left Tom and me alone.

Tom joined me on the bed. He took hold of my right hand. "Hey, you look good."

"I look good for someone who's been throwing up and not sleeping?" I asked kind of annoyed. I looked like crap and I knew it.

"What I meant to say was I've missed you. I know that might be hard to believe, but I have. Kayleigh, you're the only girl on my mind. I haven't even kissed a girl because I don't want to and didn't want to hurt you."

I sat up to be eye level with him. My heart started to beat harder and faster. What was he trying to tell me? I knew what he was getting at, or at least I hoped I knew what he was getting at. The last time I thought I knew he broke my heart. I just wanted to hear it from him, from his mouth to my ears.

He ran his hands through his hair nervously, like me. "I want to give us another try. I want to be with you."

I had to tell him…now. "Tom, I have something to tell you. I really don't know how to say this but here it goes: I'm pregnant, two months pregnant and you're the only person I've been with." I watched him closely. His grip on my hand loosened. His brow furrowed.

"But two months ago was when you and I…you know. That makes the baby mine, right? But that can't be because I wore a condom, I'm sure of it."

I thought back to that rainy day. He did have a condom on. "I know you did. I guess it must have broken or ripped in some way, because I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened and a low, "Wow," escaped his lips. Tom's eyes fell to the floor.

I lifted his chin so his eyes met mine again. I loved his eyes. "This baby is our baby. But it's in my body and I'll decide what happens. I'll tell you right now I'm not having an abortion. Honestly, I don't know how my mother will take it, but I want to try to keep the baby." I watched Tom's facial expression lighten.

"We could be our own happy little family, you, me and the baby. I'll be 22 and you'll be 20 by the time the baby's due. We can handle a baby. We could do it, Kay. We're going to do this." He hugged me tightly and tears fell from my eyes. I had everything that I wanted. Tom pulled back and kissed me. Things were going to be okay from here on out.


	3. Family Matters

Chapter 3 – Family Matters

One down, two to go. I had to tell my mom and Tom had to tell his parents. Harry, Tom and I decided that we would tell my mom tonight, seeing how she might be sympathetic towards me. At least we thought she would be.

When we arrived at my house, I could see the light on in the kitchen with my mom drinking tea. Tom held my hand as we walked into the house. Tom, Harry and I sat down on the opposite side of the table from my mother. She wouldn't even look at me as if she already knew.

She got up from the table and grabbed some thing from one of the empty cupboards. She placed the two pregnancy tests in front of the three of us. "Want to explain this to me?" my mother's voice was impassive and quite chilling compared to her usual perky self.

"They're, uh, pregnancy tests, two of them." I sat there squeezing Tom's hand. She wasn't pleased.

She paced around the room angrily. "I see that, but there's one thing you missed. They're positive, Kayleigh! You're pregnant! Do you not realize that? Kayleigh, you're 19; you're going to ruin your life."

"I know I'm pregnant! It's my body! I'm having and keeping this baby too. I can handle it. We can handle it," I said glancing at Tom.

"This is the father? Do you have a job? How much do you get paid? Do you have a place to live? How old are you?" My mother shot question after question making Tom uncomfortable.

Tom took a deep breath before answering the inquiring witch standing before us. "I'm Tom. I'm 20 and in the same band as Harry. I live with Dougie in an apartment. I make enough money to support myself, your daughter and my future child. I even pay for my sister's schooling."

My mother stared at us in disbelief. She couldn't believe I could do something so horrible. "This is your entire fault. You left them alone together. Why did I ever let her go with you?" she said accusing Harry.

Harry's temper got the best of him. "Hey! If you don't realize that it's your fault for wanting her to get out of this rinky dink town, she would have never gotten pregnant. Tom has taken care of his sister as if he was her father. He's a great guy, cut him some slack." Harry's face had turned bright red from screaming

"If you're keeping the baby, you're not living here. This is wrong. You're 19! You can't have a baby. If you've made up your mind, get out of my house."

I shoved my seat back and stood up. "Fine, I have people who'll take me in. They care about me. I don't need you." I walked up the stairs to my old room to pack up my things. I grabbed two suitcases from the closet and started throwing clothes inside until both were full up. Tom and Harry helped carry both suitcases to the cars. I hugged and kissed my sister good-bye and joined the boys in the car.

I sat in the passenger seat of my car while Harry sat in the driver seat. I wasn't in any condition to drive. "What am I going to do? Where am I going to live? I want this baby but obviously I can't live here. My mother disowned me." I rubbed my eyes to stop the few tears I cried from going down my cheeks.

"You'll live with me and Danny. He'll understand." Harry rubbed my shoulders trying to calm me down. Harry started the car and drove back to the hotel. It was the only place I could stay.

I stayed there for the night sleeping in Tom's bed. He let me have the bed to myself. He slept on the couch against the opposite wall of the bed. He wanted to stay close by.

Harry called Fletch, their manager, and had him change their flight for tomorrow to send us to England. The sooner we got to England the sooner I could get my mom out of my mind.

I slept on the plane for most of the trip. I was never one that liked to fly so I had no problem sleeping most of it away. Tom stayed by my side only getting up to go to the restroom.

I woke up when Tom gently rubbed my arms to get me up. We called a taxi to take us to the boys' apartment. When we arrived there, Harry's parents were waiting for us.

I rubbed the sleep out of my lazy eyes.. My nerves were making me sick.

"We're here angel. Everything's going to be fine." Harry got out of the car and walked up the walk way.

Tom opened the door for me helping me out. He kissed the top of my head to relax me. He started up the walkway and I followed close behind him. I could hear Harry's parents from the living room. Tom stepped inside the house and I cautiously did the same.

Mr. and Mrs. Judd looked at Tom and I as we appeared in the door way. Mrs. Judd was the first to speak. "Tom, Kayleigh, it's so good to see you both. Come sit down." We joined their little family in the living room. The Judd's sat on the couch while Tom and I sat on the love seat. "I'm glad your back. You've been away for far too long.. Kayleigh, I haven't seen you in months. How are your mother and sister?" She did the smart thing and didn't ask about Julia.

I brushed a tiny piece of hair away from my face. "They're good…" Harry cut me off before I could say another word.

"Don't lie to them. We have a situation here: Kayleigh's pregnant. Her mother kicked her out of the house. She needs somewhere to stay. So I said she could stay with us, but she needs someone to ask about these sort of things, you know female things," Harry said leaning his head toward me. I glanced up at him and nervously smiled.

Mr. and Mrs. Judd looked at each other, at Tom and me and then back at each other. "Of course, honey. Don't worry about a thing. We'll take good care of you and the baby." Mr. Judd held his wife's hand as he spoke to me.

Tom kissed my cheek. "Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Judd."

I glanced at Harry and he gave me I-told-you-so look. Harry's parents rose from the couch and took me in with open arms. His mom kissed my head and looked down at my stomach.

"How far along are you? You're barely showing."

"I'm just about two months." Tom came up behind me and held me around my waist. He seemed proud to becoming a father, which surprised me.

"Have you been to see a doctor yet? You're supposed to go every month. I'll call my doctor and setup an appointment for tomorrow or the day after. Okay? Okay." Mrs. Judd scurried out of the room to make the phone call to her doctor's office.

The boys took my stuff and carried it to the guest bedroom in the Judd-Jones household. I lay across the comfy bed that looked like it hadn't been slept in for months. Tom climbed into bed beside me moving my head to lie on his chest. I listened to his heart beat with mine. He locked his fingers around mine.

"How are you feeling?" he whispered.

I yawned quietly. "I'm tired, but otherwise I'm okay. A little shaken up about the way my mother reacted. I don't regret the decision I've made. I'm just hurt and let down that my mom would turn her back on me." I took a deep breath in to calm myself.

"Everything is okay now. I'm here and I'll find a place for us to live. It was nice of the Judd's to make sure you're going to be okay. I would tell you, you could live with me, but Danny and Harry have more room here. And at least it gives us more time to try to fix up our house." He kissed my head softly.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want a lot of people to know. Your fans might not like it, you know, you having a girlfriend and a baby on the way. I just want our parents and our group to know, no one else.

Tom kissed my head again. "Anything you want. But right now, I'm going to let you sleep. I'll pick you up for the doctor's sometime tomorrow. We'll tell my mom and sister tomorrow after the doctor's. Night, Kayleigh." He unlocked his hand from mine leaving me alone.

I didn't change before crawling under the covers that kept me warm through the chilly air the air conditioner blew. Thoughts of Tom, the baby and me ran through my head like every other night. I felt weird sleeping in Harry's house when I was having someone else's child. But I could understand Tom's concern about his family. I'm sure his family hadn't even heard of me, but now I was kind of a part of their family. No matter what, I would be tied to the Fletcher gang. I didn't mind so much. I still loved Tom unconditionally but he didn't know it. I wasn't playing on telling him either not for a long time, not until I'm sure we could truly handle the situation at hand.


	4. I'm A Believer

Chapter 4 – I'm a Believer

Would there ever be another night where I could sleep and not wake up in the middle of the night? I woke up at three again to sit by the toilet for an hour. It took me forever to fall back to sleep. I tossed and turned until I decided to play some music. I rummaged through my small suitcase to find the CD I was looking for. I slipped it into the tiny CD player on the nightstand turning the volume so only I could hear. 'Ohio is for Lovers' started to play by Hawthorne Heights. Hawthorne Heights was the band I would listen to, to make me feel good when something was bothering me although most of their lyrics were about cutting their wrists. Soon after my head cleared and I fell into a deep sleep dreaming of Tom and the baby.

The next morning I was woken up by the sweet smell of chocolate chip waffles. Harry's head popped in the door. "Hey, I've got breakfast for you." He entered the room as I sat up in bed. Harry placed the tray across my lap. The smell of the waffles made my mouth water. I took the first bite satisfying my tiny cravings. "I got the directions from my mom for the doctor's office. The appointment is at 12:15. We should probably leave in a half hour or so. I already called Tom to let him know. He's on his way. Oh, he wanted me to tell you his mom and sister are throwing a BBQ for the gang, everyone's invited you, me and all parents and siblings. I hope your stomach's up for it."

I wiped my mouth with the tiny white napkin. "Thank you for breakfast. It was delicious. I suppose I should get ready for the day I have ahead of me." I leaned over and kissed his forehead before he left.

Tom showed up twenty minutes later. I had taken my shower, gotten dressed and did my hair. I had to look presentable to Tom's family, not like some random girl Tom had a one night stand with. I pulled out a white polo shirt with a tiny aqua butterfly on the left side and a denim skit. I felt like I had been shopping in Claire's closet. I walked down the steps to be greeted by Tom's arms

"You look great, but what's with you wearing Claire's clothes? This isn't your usual self. Where's the Kayleigh I know?"

I pulled my light brown hair up into a sloppy ponytail. "I didn't want to go to your apartment looking like I usually do. In all honesty, I don't think your family would like it."

Tom turned me around and pushed me back into the guest bedroom. He sat me down on the bed and walked to my suitcases pulling out clothes. "Kayleigh, you don't know my mom or my sister and if they can't accept you for who you are then, who cares? I'm with you and I care about you and that's all that should matter. Here put this on." Tom handed me a pair of blue jeans and a black tank top with Rock Star written on it. "This is the Kayleigh I know." Tom kissed my forehead and left the room so I could change. I slipped into my normal clothes and the three musketeers were on our way.

I felt very uncomfortable in the doctor's office. I had never been to a…gynecologist before. I never had to. Now, I had to go every month until the baby's born. I was told to disrobe and put on a paper night gown. I did as I was told. Tom and Harry joined me in the examining room afterward. I didn't want to be left alone.

When the doctor came in, I started to shake. "Hello, I'm Doctor Susan Nickels. And you must be Kayleigh…" she bit her tongue when she noticed Harry and Tom. "Who are you two? I'm only supposed to allow one person beside the patient in here."

I spoke instead of letting the boys. "This is Tom Fletcher, the father and Harry Judd, the godfather. I didn't know that only one was allowed and this is my first time so I panicked and asked both to stay with me."

The doctor flipped through her charts. "Okay, but just this once. It's nice to meet all of you. I see, Kayleigh, that this is your first time here. Let me ask you a few questions. How many months are you?"

"Two."

"Did you have a check up during the first month of pregnancy?"

"No."

"Do you get morning sickness and if so when was the last time?"

"Yes, and this morning around four sometime."

Dr. Nickels wrote little things in the chart. "Let's have a look." She did what had to be done to make sure the baby was okay. Tom held on to my hand to keep me relaxed. When she was finished, she picked up her charts again. "Everything looks good. I suppose you want to see the baby." Dr. Nickels walked over to the sonogram machine and turned it on. "It's going to take a few minutes to warm up. Do you have any questions?"

"Can you tell us what the sex of the baby is?" Tom asked.

Dr. Nickels placed the cold jelly liquid on my tiny bump. "No, not yet. The baby must be three to four months old before we can determine the gender. The machine's ready." Dr. Nickels placed the monitor on my stomach and moved it around until she could see the baby on the screen. There they were, my little baby. They weren't very big. Tears stung my eyes. This was my baby in my tummy. Tom leaned in and kissed me. "I'll print out pictures so you can show your parents. You can pick them up at the desk when you leave. Kayleigh, I'll see you next month and congratulations."

The boys left with Dr. Nickels to pay and so I could get dressed again. I took the pictures from the secretary and placed them in my purse. The drive back to the apartment was pretty long but was shortened by a nap I took. We arrived just after two. I could hear everyone's voice chattering away and music playing. Tom opened my door and helped me out of the Mini Cooper. We walked to the backyard. I could feel my heart begin to race. His family was going to hate me as much as my mother hated him. I gripped Tom's arms in mine.

We entered the backyard to see about ten people standing around having a good time. A woman approached me and Tom who looked similar to Tom. A girl about the age of 15 followed behind her. They had to be Tom's mom and sister. "Mom, Carrie this is Kayleigh Adams, my girlfriend and the mother of my baby."

Tom's mom stuck out her hand and said, "Welcome to the family. This is my daughter, Carrie." Carrie gave me a comforting hug after her mother. I relaxed after that feeling like I had been really welcomed into the Fletcher family.

"Do you have any pictures of my niece or nephew?" Carrie asked.

I started to look for the pictures so I could show Tom's mom and sister. "Here they are. The doctor doesn't know the gender of the baby yet. But as soon as we find out, we'll call you."

Tom's mom grabbed a glass and gently tapped on it to get everyone's attention. "Everyone, Tom and Kayleigh have an announcement to make."

Tom took my hand and led me onto the patio. "We're having a baby!" The group of people were quiet for the first few seconds until Claire started clapping. Tom and I were soon surrounded by well wishers and welcoming congratulations. The pictures of the baby were passed around so everyone could see. I left them on the table afterwards.

The rest of the day I felt welcome in this whole big family. They weren't just several small families in one big group. They were several small families in an even bigger family. For the first time I had high hopes for my little family. For the first time since I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't regret the decisions I had made.


	5. Confessions from the Heart

Chapter 5 – Confessions from the Heart

A week had passed since the party and all hell broke loose. Somehow the pictures of my baby surfaced to the tabloids. Tom's picture was plastered to the front cover of every gossip paper. Surprisingly enough they had the pictures from the award show. What really freaked me out was that they had pictures of me in there that only I had in my possession. When I searched for them at Harry's house they were there and looked as if they had never been touched. Harry would never give out my pictures, but maybe my mom would. She had the doubles of most of the pictures. Maybe she was trying to get back at me for deciding to have the baby.

I tried hard to not let it bother me. I wasn't too scared for me; I was more scared for my son or daughter. I didn't know if there would be paparazzi hiding in the bushes outside of the apartments. It was like being stalked by twenty different men who just want to take your pictures. These people must have no lives if they can sit and wait for you to come out of the bathroom. Why were people so obsessed with my life? I was a normal teenage girl who happened to be pregnant with a super star's child, normal.

Now, it was Tuesday of the following week. Jody and I were hanging out at Tom's flat waiting for the boys to come back from the recording studio. I wanted to hang around. I was too tired to tag along and I thought I would be in the way. Jody decided to hang back with me so I wasn't alone in case anything happened to go wrong.

I sat on the floor with Jody surrounded by two large mail bags full of mail. The mail had originally been sent to the fan club, but was given to us from the woman who runs the fan club. Most of the letters were addressed to Tom and some were written to me. Tom had said I could read the letters if I wanted to, but he warned me some could be creepy. Jody agreed to look through them with me just in case.

Jody and I poured the two bags of mail out onto the floor letting them all be seen. There had to be at least one thousand letters! They poured out into a large pile that went up to our knees when we stood and we're no more than 5'3". We sat on the couches as we started to read through the plentiful pile of mail.

"Kayleigh, listen to this: _'Dear Tom and Kayleigh, congratulations on the baby. Is it a boy or a girl? Have you thought of any names yet? How about Laurie if it's a girl? Laurie's my name! That would be really great if you named your daughter after me. Well, that's all I wanted to say. Please write back if you can. Love, Laurie.' _Man, it's your first child and already people want you to name your son or daughter after them? Do you have any names in mind?"

I laughed, "No, I'm only two months. I'll start thinking about names when I'm seven months. Listen to this letter: _'Dear Tom How is everything? I just have a few questions to ask. Where did you meet Kayleigh? How long have you two been together? Do you think it's wise to be having a child so young? What are you going to do when you're on tour and Kayleigh's at home with the baby Fletcher? Kayleigh will have to take care of the baby all by herself. I don't think that's fair. She'll need you to help! Think things through before you jump right into them. I hope I helped! Love, Kelly.'_ This girl sounds like my mother. Funny, she even has the same name as my mother."

"Does any of this scare you? I mean I've heard some pretty crazy things that fans have done to get attention from someone famous. Once this fan came to meet me, a sweet innocent thirteen year old girl, who looked like she couldn't hurt a fly. Well, she ends up getting into my changing tent and steals my clothes. Luckily, the sponsor at the competition gave me extra, dry clothes." Jody placed the letter she was reading aside as she waited for my answer.

I leaned back on the cushions of the gray couch. My stomach had started to show a little more now and made it a little harder to get comfortable even in the most comfortable spots. "I don't want Tom to know. I don't want him worrying about me all day while he's busy doing McFly stuff. I could always call the Fletcher's or the Judd's. It's really nothing to be all preoccupied with. I'm sure this happens all the time. I hate being in a vulnerable position like this. Being Tom's girlfriend and being pregnant with his first child makes me so much easier to hurt and control. I'm ready to cry at any moment because of all the hormones that are going crazy in my body. I can't control myself and that scares me."

"Kay, this doesn't happen all the time. It's not a normal life when you're the girlfriend of a sex god according to some websites and obsessed fans. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling. I understand we are in similar situations, but you're doing something that I would never be able to do. You're doing something great and I give you so much credit for doing it. I wish there was only something I could do to make you feel secure about everything around you. I know one thing that must make you feel good as you think about the future and that's knowing that Tom loves you."

I held up my hand to stop her from forwarding the false statement that was said. "Tom and I have a great relationship now that we've worked things out. The thing that's not exactly working out is our feelings for each other. I think Tom is thinking with his head, but isn't keeping his heart in mind. He wants to be with me, but he doesn't love me. He wants to do the right thing but, I don't want him to feel obligated to love me because of the baby. The hard thing about that is I love him and I want him to love me, but I can't make him. It's hard having strong feelings for someone when you know their feelings are unknown."

"He can't honestly deny that he loves you. Its there, it's in the way he holds you in his arms and in the way he kisses you. He wouldn't hold you so close if he thought that you weren't worth it." Jody started pulling out random letters from the mound.

I glanced around Tom and Dougie's living room, my eyes landing on a group picture that we took the week before. Tom's arm was wrapped around my waist with his hand cupping my hip in his grasp. He had a full smile and a sparkle in his eye. I loved the way he looked and couldn't help but feel my heart skip a beat. I loved him now more than ever before.

After hours of agonizing letters, the boys finally returned. Tom sat beside me and the letters I had already read and placed a kiss on my cheek. "Hey mama, did you miss me?"

"Of course I missed you. Did you miss me?" I picked up the mess of letter from on the couch and placed them on the side table.

Seeing this Tom put his head in my lap. "Yes, I missed you very much. I have something special planned for you, but you have to keep your eyes closed." I closed my eyes and felt him move from my lap. He took my hand and led me into the hallway outside of the living room. After that I didn't know where he was taking me. He led me up a flight of stairs holding my hands making sure I wouldn't fall. Finally he stopped me and I could hear all of the noises of the city. "Okay, open your eyes."

I opened my eyes to see a similar scene that I had seen once before. A blanket with pillows and a CD player playing soft music. It was a re-creation of our first date. "Tom, what is this for?" I placed my head on his shoulder and took in every little detail.

"This is because I love you. Kay, I want you to know that I love you. I've told you that I don't throw that phrase around lightly. But with you, it's different. I hate being without you for more than a minute. Kayleigh, I love you." He kissed my forehead and held me tightly to him.

Quietly I whispered, "I love you too."

He turned me to him and grazed his hand across my cheek. He looked deep into my eyes the way Rhett looks at Scarlet in Gone with the Wind and he pressed his lips to mine. This couldn't be real; it had to be a dream. But I was there in what seemed like a fantasy. With that kiss Tom made all my fears disappear and I knew at that moment that he truly meant the three words he uttered seconds before: I love you.


	6. Home is where the Heart is

Chapter 6 – Home is Where the Heart is

Tom and I spent the night in his apartment along with the rest of the gang. Tom had requested off the next day so he could spend time with me. He had felt bad that the few days we had been there he barely spent time with me. Tom spent the whole day with me walking around a park in London. Both of us tried to not let the photographers bother us.

"How are you holding up? Are you okay with the fans and the crazy paparazzi that follow you around?" Tom asked as he held my hand while we walked.

I took in the summer air into my lungs before answering. "I'm alright. It's hard and nothing I've ever experienced before. I'm not used to all this attention. The fans aren't too bad. Most of them are well-wishers. The paparazzi scare me. I've never felt that my life was in jeopardy until now. The thought that these people will do whatever it takes to get photos of me doing something stupid or looks wrong, it's unnerving."

"You can't let it bother you. If you want we can hire a security guard for you. You have to let people run their mouths. You just got to know that at the end of the day that you're going home to someone who loves you and that those stories don't affect the love that you share." Tom squeezed my hand as a reassurance but this wasn't the truth in this matter.

"But Tom, I go home to Harry's house, to love but not the love that you're talking about." I glanced around the park at couples holding hands and cuddling but not being followed by people with cameras. The couples looked happy and I envied them. I would give anything up to have a relationship where I could spend the night at a friend's house and not have people speculate what happened that night. I didn't like the attention that I had. I was probably the only girl in the world who didn't want to be known as Tom's girlfriend.

Tom stopped walking making me jerk back. He put his hands behind my neck. "Look at me. I had this idea, okay? I figured that since we're going to be together and we're going to have this baby that you should move in with me." His eyes were wide and hopeful. He looked so happy and adorable at this moment.

I shook my head, "Yes! Dougie's okay with that?"

"Yeah, but I promised that we would buy a house or an apartment before the baby's born. I don't think it's right or fair to keep him up all night with the baby crying. But for the next seven months or so, we'll live with Dougie. But my mom is going to move in for the next few month too with Carrie so they can help you out. Then you can come home to someone who loves you, me."

"If your family and Dougie are alright with it, why not? This is a test, you know that right? To see if we can work as a family."

Tom didn't hear anything after my yes. He pulled me toward him and kissed me. "I love this girl!" he shouted just like in a Kay Jewelers commercial. "I love you so fucking much. Do you understand that?" He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we started to walk again.

"You do know that we're going to be on the front page of every gossip magazine." I wrapped my arm around Tom's waist and laid my head against his shoulder.

He laughed, "I don't care. We're moving in together."

Just as I had said, we were the most talked about couple for the next week. When I had told Harry and his parents that I was moving out and moving in with Tom, Mrs. Judd started to cry and Harry just wished me well and a 'you're-always-welcome-here.' Harry and Tom helped me pack what little things I unpacked. Harry was disappointed, but he knew it was the right thing to do. He didn't cry though I thought he might have. I still call him every night to say goodnight, but I still see him three or four days of the week.

Tom and I entered our bedroom in the Poynter-Fletcher household holding hands very late on a Saturday night about two weeks after I moved in. We had just been out to dinner with the gang and the boys' producers. It was a celebratory occasion for Tom and me for the baby. Everything with the family "trial" had been going good beside the fact that I woke Carrie up in the middle of the night throwing up in the bathroom. Things in the Fletcher/Adams family were going smoothly. I climbed onto the bed snuggling close to the pillows.

"Are you tired baby?" Tom asked while he started to get changed. I watched him closely as he took off his shirt and exposed his stomach.

I yawned softly and answered inaudibly, "Yes." I got up from the bed and started to change as well. Tom was now in bed under the covers. "Aren't you tired? You were at the studio all day."

"Not really, I'm used to getting no sleep. It's part of being a star. I wanted to ask you if you've decided on where you want to move to." Tom slipped his arm around my shoulders as I slid into bed.

I quickly tied my hair into a ponytail. I snuggled close to Tom resting my head on his chest slightly. "Well, I was thinking about this the other day. I even asked Claire and Jody what they thought. But I'm the one who gets to decide. I love the city, I do, but it would be a lot easier trying to raise a child in the suburbs. In the city you have a lot of noise and the baby will barely be able to sleep."

Tom took a deep sigh before answering, "But if we live in the city it makes it easier driving to and from work. Didn't you say you wanted to go to that performing arts college?"

I knew Tom would throw that in my face. "Honey, I was thinking that I should take a year or two off from school so I can take care of baby Fletcher. I can hold off school."

"No, I won't let you. Kay, you can't drop out of school. If we need to we can have my mother watch over the baby." Tom got out of bed becoming flustered. He started to pace around the tiny bedroom we shared.

"Tom, this is my child and I don't want to abandon him or her right after they're born. The baby's due in January, I'll be in my first semester. Plus it's going to become hard for me to get around and I can't rely on your mom and sister to take care of the baby." I looked at Tom hoping he would realize that I had a point. But he didn't. He only made me feel worse.

"Maybe your mother was right. We shouldn't have this baby. Maybe we're trying to make this work when we both know that it isn't. Kayleigh…" Tom turned to look at me and noticed the tears falling from my eyes. Kayleigh was what he called me when he was mad at me now. He always called me Kay. So I knew it wasn't a good night to be talking to him.

I sniffed, "Do you want this baby, yes or no?" I tired hard to keep my tears from pouring out and tried to keep my voice low so I wouldn't wake up the whole house.

Tom joined me back in bed and held my head to his chest. "Kay, baby, of course I want the baby. It's just really hard trying to make the right decisions for the baby and for us. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"Are you sure?" I asked looking up into his big brown eyes.

Tom kissed my forehead, "Yes, I'm sure. I love you. Do you know that? I love you very much. And I love this baby very much." Tom pulled up my Yankees t-shirt and kissed my belly.

"I love you too." I wiped the last few tears away from my face and placed a light peck on Tom's lips.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow, when both of us are feeling better. But I don't want you to go to bed mad at me, so I'll tell you this one thing I just decided: you can take off from school and I won't mind moving to the 'burbs. Are you okay with that?"

I sat up straighter in bed and gave Tom a passionate kiss which I hadn't done since the night on the roof.

"Hey, hey relax. Remember what happened the last time we did that?" Tom asked winking at me. "We got this beautiful little baby in your tummy. You need your rest so I'll let you and the baby go to sleep now. I'll see you in the morning. I love you, Kay." He leaned over and kissed me before wrapping me in his arms as we both drifted off to sleep.


	7. Worst Nightmare

Chapter 7 – Worst Nightmare

I really started to lose control when a picture was printed of Tom and me fighting that night in our bedroom. Tom was angered about it and called the multiple magazines to get the name of the person who submitted the photo. The reply was all the same, they couldn't give out the name because of the contract the company had with the photographer. This helped the tabloids a lot. The magazines started printing false stories of Tom threatening them if we did not get the information we were requesting. For the past couple of weeks things were getting out of control.

To take my mind off things Jody and Claire offered to take me shopping for baby items. We had been walking around London for a few hours before we stopped in a little boutique. The store was filled with stuff I had never seen let alone thought I needed. I wasn't planning on buying anything without Tom's opinion. I was simply browsing.

"Oh, look outside. More photographers to take your lovely picture Kayleigh!" Claire exclaimed looking out the window of the store.

I groaned softly, "I don't want my picture taken. I hate all these random people coming up to me asking me all these questions concerning the baby, Tom and me. I feel like my whole life is a fucking soap opera for everyone to hate me, love me, or feel sorry for me."

Jody kept her mouth shut as she waltzed around the baby clothing section. Claire on the other hand did not. "I'm sure that's just the hormones talking. You have to love all the presents you're receiving from all the adoring fans. You're famous, Kayleigh Adams."

This annoyed me. Claire acted as if she knew me better than I knew myself. "I don't want to be famous and it's not the hormones talking either. I liked being the small town girl I was before I went to California."

"You should be happy with all the publicity it's getting Tom and the band. He'll be raking in the money for you to spend on the baby." Claire glanced out the window to see the photographers still snapping pictures.

I rubbed my hands over my eyes. "I don't need every luxury in the world to make me happy like some people, Claire."

Claire, getting frustrated, now picked up a stuffed animal and started strangling it. "I hate you! You're such a bitch. If you don't want the public to know who you are, why are you having the baby? Why did you get pregnant if you didn't like fame and fortune? You should have never started dating Tom." She snapped. She got so frustrated she threw the animal at me. I covered the baby the best I could only to have it hit my hands against the baby.

Jody grabbed Claire and shoved her out of the store. I stood there in shock and couldn't help but feel tears sting my eyes. If it wasn't for Jody, I was sure she would have hit me with something harder.

Jody called a cab for Claire to go to Danny's apartment. Jody drove me back to Danny's apartment for dinner which the boys were cooking. I couldn't be near Claire; I was scared she might try to kill me next. When we arrived Claire was in her bedroom and I could hear her sobs. Jody retold the story to the boys. I sat on the couch watching Entertainment Tonight. I wondered if anybody had caught the fight in the baby store this afternoon and were going to show it.

Sure enough it was on every entertainment channel. My tear stained face, Claire's bright red angered face and Jody grasping Claire after hitting me with the stuffed animal. I turned up the volume to the set so I could hear the details over the boys cooking.

"Late this afternoon, Kayleigh Adams, Tom's Fletcher's pregnant girlfriend, went on a shopping spree with teen surfer Jody Slater and socialite Claire Joy Hurley. During the shopping spree, Kayleigh and Claire got into a heated argument resulting in Claire Joy throwing a pink bear at Kayleigh. Jody quickly escorted Claire out to a cab and took her to ex-boyfriend, Danny Jones's, apartment. Claire is the source that has been selling photos of Tom, Kayleigh and their baby. Claire has sold pictures to Star, In Touch, and the National Inquirer." My mouth dropped. I turned to the kitchen to see the five guys and one girl leaning on the counter staring at the news caster.

"Claire Liz Hurley, get your spoiled ass out here!" Danny screamed.

Claire appeared in the living room. She looked at the group of us standing around staring at her. I turned the television off so the whole apartment was quiet. "What's going on? Is dinner ready?"

"Claire, get your things. You're going back home for good. I'll give you money for the cab, but it's not like you need it." Danny threw down the dish towel he was holding.

"What's going on? I'm not supposed to be leaving until August 8th. What happened?"

I couldn't take it anymore, "You were selling pictures of me and my family. What is wrong with you?" I had rage streaming through my body. I couldn't help but cry again. It wasn't because I was upset, I was enraged.

"You stupid bitch! You ruined my life. I had everything in the palm of my hand until you showed Danny that picture of me and Sean. You had to ruin everything," Claire stumbled over her words through tears. She was crying because she was upset. She had been caught red-handed. Danny wrapped his arms around her to try to calm her down. He guided her into the bedroom where her belongings were.

I didn't feel good after the long day I had and didn't want to see Claire before she left. I went into one of Danny's extra bedrooms to lie down. I laid there for a good five minutes before Tom crept in. He climbed in behind me wrapping his arms around me. I turned around in his arms putting my head into his chest. I probably soaked his shirt in tears. He didn't seem to mind. He pushed back the hair from my face. He lifted my face to meet my eyes with his.

"Hey, she's gone. You have nothing to worry about. Soon the media will die down and it'll be just you and me again. No Claire, no media, no more worries." He kissed my forehead lightly. "I love you, baby. Everything is going to be okay; I promise. I won't let anyone else hurt you." Tom held me close and wiped away the tears like he always did no matter if I was happy or sad.

"I love you too." I lifted my head to kiss him. Tom held me close until I fell asleep. I didn't eat that night although the boys had made dinner. Tom apologized for me. The boys understood and didn't fuss about it. Everyone was just happy my life wasn't at risk anymore.


	8. Stand By Me

Chapter 8 – Stand By Me

The media did die down after I stopped going out so much. I spent most of the time with Debbie learning how to take care of an infant. I was a babysitter for my neighbor's kids but they were two and three, which isn't the same as a new born. I needed the help of someone who had been a mother. Debbie had been a mother two times; the first time she was a mother, she did a good job. The first one being Tom's mother.

The one question on everyone's mind in the Fletcher family concerned my dad. I had never mentioned him or anything about having a father at all. No one understood what I held against my dad, but they also didn't know what my father had done to me. I didn't like talking about my father much because I didn't really know who he was. He lied to me for most of my life and left too young for me or Lily to remember and really understand why he left.

The story behind my father was the same as any little girl whose father left his family for another woman and constantly lied to her. My father and mother were married in the summer of 1984, three years before I was born. You would have thought my father would have realized that he didn't love my mother before I was born. Well not exactly, he waited until they were married for fifteen years. I knew my mother and father weren't like other people's parents. They would fight consistently no matter if there was company over. I don't even think that I can remember one day when my parents didn't fight.

The one day that I remember and the one day that haunts me is the day he left. He called Lily and me into the back room which was supposed to be the family room, but we were never really a family. He sat us down and explained to us that he and mommy weren't getting along and that he was going to live with a friend of his, Bailey. Little did I and Lily know Bailey was a female friend of dad's and she wasn't just a friend; she was his mistress. He promised he would call every night to wish us good-night and that he loved us. This didn't last long maybe a month or so.

After my father broke that promise, he started making us other promises through little cards for birthdays and Christmas. 'I'll see you soon, I promise. I promise I'll be home for Christmas.' But nothing was as bad as the biggest promise he broke to me. 'I promise I'll be at your sweet sixteen birthday party.' He never showed up. He was supposed to introduce me into society and he didn't. After that I gave up all hope that my dad would be there for me and my respect for him and all men as fathers was thrown out the window.

My hopes were high that Tom wouldn't be like my father, but it made it harder to believe when he wouldn't be home most of the time. My father was around most of the time and he still left. If Tom were to leave me, it would just prove that no man in my life would be there to stay.

Tom especially, wouldn't let the topic of my father drop. Every night before going to sleep he would ask a question revolving around my father. Tonight was no exception. "Baby, do you ever think that your dad might want to know about the baby?"

"Tom, I've told you before I don't talk to my dad so I wouldn't know if he wants to know. If my mom wants to tell him that's her choice. And if he does get in contact with me, his opinion won't matter to me."

"What if his opinion is that you're doing the right thing?" he asked looking up at me.

I sighed as I realized there was no stopping him, "Then good for him. There's a first time for everything."

Tom leaned over and kissed me. "Like you said, there's a first time for everything even with your father. Good-night sweetheart."

I didn't let what Tom said bother me. It wasn't out of the normal that Tom would ask such questions. He was interested in a part of my life that I had shut off to everyone including myself.

By the time I woke the next morning, Tom was gone. I knew he had to get to the recording studio so I wasn't too upset that he wasn't beside me when I got up. I rolled on my side to see the clock on the nightstand. The red numbers lit up to read 11:18, time for breakfast.

I headed downstairs for my usual Cinnamon Toast Crunch and orange juice. To my surprise, Debbie and Carrie weren't there. As I went to get the milk and orange juice, there was a post-it stuck to the refrigerator door. 'Went food shopping with Carrie. We'll be back later. Love, Debbie.' I was home alone for the first time in such a big family. There is always someone hanging around but not today. I started to mix the milk into my delicious cereal. I grabbed a spoonful of my breakfast when there was a knock on the door. I wiped a paper towel across my face to stop the milk from running down my chin. I glided across the hard wood floors in my socks to answer the door. I unlocked the lock and pulled the door open to see someone I hadn't expected.

"Hello Kayleigh," the tall light haired man said.

I looked him up and down. He looked the same and suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore. Just looking at him made me sick. "What are you doing here?"

He scoffed, "Is that anyway to talk to your father? Your boyfriend asked me to come out and see you. He didn't tell me you were pregnant. How many months?"

I closed the door behind me and sat on the swing on the porch. My father joined me. "Three months last Tuesday. Why did Tom call you? I'm surprised mom didn't. She kicked me out you know. Oh wait, you wouldn't know, you haven't been around for the past five years, dad." I closed my eyes and tried to think that this was all just a bad dream and when I opened them again, he would be gone. He wasn't.

"Kayleigh, sweetheart, you have to understand that it was better for me to leave than to stay. If I stayed it would have made a different, worse impact on you and your sister. You might have tried to kill yourself if things got worse and I know they would have. Things between me and your mother just weren't meant to be. Believe me," he said with hope in his eyes.

I had never seen this side of my dad before. He seemed like he actually cared, he was here from Chicago. "It's going to take me a while to get used to you being around again and you caring. I'm not used to you trying to be around when I need you." I leaned my head on his shoulder as I took in the moment. My father was probably right about the marriage between him and my mother. He was the one who was here now, not her. I felt a warm kiss on my forehead as I heard a car approach. It was Tom. I watched him as he started to walk up the pavement.

"Uh oh," he said when he noticed I was sitting with someone who looked like me.

"Tom Fletcher, get your butt over here." He kept his head down as he met us at the top of the steps. "I see you've got a hold of my dad. Why?"

He shuffled his feet a bit before he answered. "Hi Mr. Adams, it's nice to meet you. Kay, don't get mad, but I thought your father had the right to know. He _is_ your father, he gave you life."

"I know that. But you knew how I saw my dad. I didn't want anything to do with him especially now that I'm pregnant. Why did you interfere with my life?" I shifted around the swing watching Tom's face.

Tom cleared his throat, "Well, there was something I wanted to ask you and I couldn't ask you without having your father's permission. Mr. Adams, I know you don't know me that well, but I love your daughter very much. It took me a while to figure that out, but now that I have her I don't ever want to let her go. What I wanted to ask was do I have your blessing to marry Kayleigh?" Tom ran his hands through his hair and nervously watched my dad.

My dad placed a hand on Tom's shoulder. "I think you kids are doing the right thing by giving this baby a chance to know its real mother and father. Welcome to the family son." My father stuck his hand out and shook Tom's.

"Thank you so much. Now, Kayleigh Stefanie Adams, will you marry me?" Tom got down on one knee and opened a black velvet box with a tiny diamond ring inside. It sparkled as the sun's rays played across it.

I shook my head yes. I couldn't speak. I was overcome with awe and joy that not even a yes would be sufficient. I just stared at him and felt like the happiest person alive. Tom took the tiny ring out of the box and slipped it on my ring finger. He kissed me lightly and held me close until I felt like I couldn't breathe any longer.

"I have one more surprise for you. My mom and the gang have been going around town all day gathering little things like flowers, rings, a white dress and a minister. What do you think about getting married today?" Tom held my hands as his family and the gang pulled up in several cars.

I couldn't say no. Everyone was planning on me to say yes and I had. I hadn't expected to get married today but as long as I was going to sooner or later, why not make it sooner? "Yeah, let's do it."

Carrie and Jody dragged me inside to Carrie's room. Carrie picked out a white spaghetti strap dress and a pair of white flip flops to wear.

Debbie came into the bedroom after I was dressed holding something tightly in her hands. She sat beside me on the bed. "Kayleigh, I want you to wear this. I know its old but no bride can go to her wedding without a veil. Now, does anyone have a clip to keep her hair back?"

"I do," Carrie said going into one of her vanity drawers. "Here, something borrowed. The veil is something old. Her dress and sandals are something new. We need something blue!"

Debbie clipped my hair into a bun with two strands on the side of my face. I looked at the reflection in the tiny mirror and I barely recognized myself. I looked different. I looked like a bride, a young bride.

"I have something blue. My blue star, that Harry gave me, the anklet." I got up from the bed and got the tiny ankle bracelet. I placed it around my ankle and met the group of girls at the back door.

As I stood at the door waiting to make my grand entrance, I saw tears cloud Debbie's eyes. Jody handed me a bouquet of lilac roses. My father met me at the door. He looked at me with great surprise. He leaned down and kissed my head.

Carrie started walking out followed by Jody. My father and I waited until the girls got to where they were sitting or standing. I closed my eyes as I took my first step toward Tom. I reopened them after my dad squeezed my hand. My mind could see nothing but Tom. At the end of the aisle, my dad kissed my cheek through the veil and handed me over to Tom. He was dressed in a black tux jacket and jeans. It wasn't the fairy tale wedding in Disney World, but it didn't matter as long as I was marrying the right guy. I knew I was. Tom held my right hand in his as we stood there waiting for the minister to start.

The minister looked at the two of us and smiled. "Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to join Kayleigh Adams and Tom Fletcher in holy matrimony. If anyone believes that these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." The yard went quiet except for a barking in the distance. "Tom, do you take Kayleigh to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"With all my heart," he replied, the cheese ball that he is.

"Do you, Kayleigh, take Tom to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

My mind was still focused on Tom and almost didn't hear the minister. "I do."

Tom and I turned to Harry and Jody and got the rings. "Now, slip these rings on to the others left ring finger. This is a symbol of your love, a never ending circle. This is a promise to never be broken, but to be cherished by both of you. I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

I took a deep breath before Tom lifted the veil. He looked at me lovingly as he leaned into meet my lips. As his lips brushed mine all of the world seemed to disappear. I forgot about everything going on around me. Then I realized my life was complete. I had the best friends in the world, the best family, except for my mother, in the world, and now the best husband in the world. Nothing else mattered.


	9. Wedded Bliss

Chapter 9 – Wedded Bliss

There was no honeymoon after the reception. Tom had work to do on the boys' new album and couldn't leave in the middle of recording. I didn't mind so much. I didn't need anything like a trip to some exclusive island just for the two of us. I was fine just spending the evening with him watching movies. It's not like anything was going to happen. I was already pregnant.

I enjoyed married life a lot more than I thought I would. Being married made me feel as if Tom couldn't be taken away from me. I loved watching Tom's left hand as he did stuff around the house. I liked watching the simple golden ring glisten. Being married was like playing house, but it has more fights. Fights didn't last long. Most of the time I was right and Tom would realize that he was wrong with an apology. At times that I was wrong, I would sit on the bed and pout until Tom did something funny to make me laugh. It was more fun being married.

My father stuck around for the first few days after the wedding. He wanted to spend time getting re-acquainted with me and getting to know his new son-in-law. My father showed pictures to us of his new son, Chase, who was now my baby half-brother. He explained that he did call but my mother would answer the phone and hang up when she knew it was him. My father missed Lily but had no way to speak or see her without mom finding out.

Things were great. I couldn't imagine having a better life than the one I was leading. I had every desire in the palm of my hand. Tom and the band were doing well, like Claire had said the money was raking in. But I didn't care. I had the best husband in the world. I'm not the materialistic person Claire was. I enjoy being with Tom, even if it means watching him catch up on sleep.

But tonight Tom wasn't asleep. He was wide awake sitting on the edge of the bed holding his guitar close to him. He never let it out of his sight. He treated it as if it were his baby, which I guess was good practice on how to handle it. I sat against the headboard to our bed and watched him as he would glance at me. He made me smile uncontrollably when he glanced at me with his loving eyes. I had always dreamed about being looked at the way he looked at me. I had never had someone make me feel like my heart was on fire, and in this case it was a good thing.

I opened the small book Debbie had given me and turned to random pages. "What kind of name are we looking for?"

Tom chuckled to my questions. "Well, since we're both 'part' British, I think that would make both families happy. I'm sure if I would name our son or daughter something like Yasmine or Mohammad my grandparents would lose it. Pick out some English names." He rubbed his hand on my legs.

I flipped through the book looking for English names that would work for Tom. "Emma? Jasper? Lucy? Graham?"

Tom groaned at every name. "What if she's ugly? Lucy is like an old lady's name. Graham is a little too common. Emma is my cousin's name."

As Tom contemplated names, I decided to look up the meaning of our names. I let a slight laugh escape my lips when I read the meaning for Tom. I guess it wasn't as quiet as a laugh as I thought it was. "What's so funny?"

"I was just looking up what Tom meant and I found it funny." I tried hard to keep in my laughter.

"Read it to me."

"'Tom, a Hebrew boys name meaning 'innocence' or 'purity'. Thomas was one of the twelve apostles and his nickname was 'Doubting Thomas' because he was the apostle who was most critical and pessimistic.' You can't tell me that you're parents didn't pick the right name for you."

Tom crawled beside me on the bed, "You're right. I am very pessimistic. Maybe we shouldn't be doing this..." Tom said with a joking looking on his face.

"Very funny, I like the part about being critical. That's the icing on the cake." Tom playfully slapped my arm. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You know I love you and I deal with your analytical-self all the time anyway."

Tom slipped the book out of my hands and held it close to him so I couldn't see. "Let's see what Kayleigh means, shall we? 'Kayleigh, warrior princess, pure, slender. Kayleigh is a combination of Kay and Leigh, where Kay is a given name of Latin and Old Welsh origin, meaning "happy, rejoicing", and Leigh could be either a given name of Old English origin, meaning "pasture, meadow."' Well, Kayleigh, you are pure and slender, but the warrior princess part doesn't fit you. You're not a pasture or a meadow, that's for sure. Your parents could have picked a better name to describe you, but I love you anyway." Tom handed the book back to me and continued to play chords on his guitar.

I continued to flip through the book but couldn't honestly find a name that I cared for. Decent British names were few and far between. You either hated them or they were fall back names in case you couldn't find one you really liked. This was going to happen to our baby. Nothing would fit my taste or Tom's. Our baby was going to have a stupid name because their parents couldn't agree on a name.

I tried not to think about the naming thing too much considering we have six months to find something to agree on. I closed the book and placed it on the nightstand beside the bed. I rested my eyes for a second as I realized how tired I really was.

"Hey, are you tired?" Tom asked making me wake up.

"Just a little. But I don't want to sleep right now. Tonight is the first night that you've been home and that you're not sleeping. So I'm not going to sleep on you because you're awake…" I rambled on for about another five minutes before realizing I was repeating everything I had said already.

Tom put his hand up to my mouth to shut me up. "I'm going to put you under the covers so that way you'll be nice and comfy when you fall asleep, which you look like you're about to do." Tom lifted the covers so I could creep under them. I placed my head on the pillow while Tom laid the covers of my tired and fat body. Tom planted a light kiss on my head before settling in beside me.

I started to hear Tom playing his guitar, but I still thought it was chords. It wasn't until I heard Tom singing that I realized it wasn't chords but a song. Something sweet, something like a lullaby, something I thought I had never heard before. I listened quietly as he sang, but he wasn't singing to me, he was singing to the baby. He cared for the baby and really wanted this to work. He proved me wrong. There would be at least one other guy that I could depend on: Tom. He was going to be a good father.


	10. Epilogue

Chapter 10 – Epilogue

I stood in the doorway of the nursery watching my husband play with our new born son. He was small and adorable. My husband cradled him and sang to him as he drifted off to sleep. I stepped behind my husband in the rocking chair we had received from his mother a few months back. My husband's eyes met mine as I stood by him watching our tiny bundle of joy.

Our son had been born a month ago, when his father was on tour. He almost missed the birth of our son. He had been gone about a month when my water broke. His mother was in the delivery room with me. She tried to help the best she could but it wasn't working. I squeezed her hand and screamed at her. Nothing seemed to help. I just wanted my husband. Two minutes before our son was born, he showed up. He stood with me as I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy. My husband cried in front of everybody who was there. I never expected him to cry, but was speechless when he did. The first second that he got to hold our son, tears came to my eyes. It was like a Kodak moment that even a picture couldn't completely capture the emotions. It was one of those moments where you had to be there to see it and understand what it meant for it to have a special place in your heart.

The grandfather, grandmother and godfather of the baby were allowed in first. My father, of course couldn't help but laugh at all the little blonde hairs on the top of my son's head. "He looks just like his daddy," my father had whispered. "He'll be just like his daddy, a famous rock star."

The godfather gushed over him. Harry held him so close and so dear, the way he held me when I was scared and needed someone. Now, he could do that when my son was angry or upset with me or my husband in the future. My son always had someone to run too just like I did, and it just happened to be the same person.

Things were settling into place nicely for the Fletcher family. We had recently moved into a nice cozy little house two blocks away from Tom's parents. It made it easier on me in case I needed Debbie in five seconds. The house was small but nice for a family just starting out. It had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a basement, living room and kitchen.

Things were calm with the press since Claire had been sent back home. I'm sure she was happy to read about how successful our little group was doing. I'm sure she was quite ecstatic to read about Tom's son in the gossip columns. I had heard a story from someone who knew her, that she went delusional and her parents put her into a mental facility but kept that on the down low.

Jody was one of the first ones at the hospital when I gave birth to my son. She was crying the whole time and could barely hold my son when she got the chance. Dougie and Jody were almost never apart now. She tired not to be more than one hour away from him doing publicity. Most of the places she visited lately didn't have waves.

My mom never got over her disappointment in me and to this day disowns me. I tried calling her the day after my son was born to let her know, but she ignored my call. Lily called my father and asked if she would bring her to the England to see me and my new family soon.

My family was by my side, although my mother wasn't. I didn't need her; I had Debbie and Jody, who did act like my mother sometimes, to watch over me. My husband was my rock…he was there no matter what. When he came for the birth, he told the managers that he was taking a few months off to spend with his wife and child. He didn't care what they had to say. He knew where he was needed most, and he knew he wanted to be with us more than on tour.

Tom placed our son back into his crib and watched him sleep for a few seconds. Tom never seemed to be happier than after our son was born. I walked over to one of the blue walls and wiped my hand across the tiny plaque that was made for our son. Tabor Elliot Fletcher was born on January 24 at 4:44 p.m. to Thomas Michael Fletcher and Kayleigh Stefanie Adams-Fletcher.

Tom stood beside me slowly wrapping his arms around my slimmer body. I turned in his arms to face him. He kissed me tenderly before speaking. "I've made a decision. Hear me out before you say anything okay?"

He took a deep breath as if he was still sorting out what he wanted to say. "I've decided to quit the group. I belong here with you and Tabor. I could be a music teacher in primary or secondary school. Maybe even a professor at a college. I could still do little nightly gigs at clubs in London and get money that way. I'll make it work, but I want to be around if you need me. I don't want to be in another country when something bad might happen and then I have no way to get back to you in time. I'm here to stay, I promise."

"Are you sure you want to give up all you've accomplished?"

He pecked my head with his lips, "I've accomplished everything that I've wanted to accomplish in my career. Now, I want to accomplish being a good dad and a good husband. I don't need fame and fortune. I need my family and my friends and if I die a poor man because I want to be with you, than I've lived my life to the fullest."

I stood up on my toes slightly to reach his lips. "I'm not going to fight you about that. If you want to be here with me, you're more than welcome too. I love you."

"I love you too." He held my right hand in his as he started swaying us back and forth. He had his head close to mine and started to sing quietly. "I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky, I'll be there, I swear like the shadow that's by your side, I'll be there, for better or worse, 'till death do us part, I'll love you with every beat of my heart."

Everything happens for a reason, I don't doubt that. My son was the best blessing in disguise, as are most blessings.

The End


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